10 Reasons for Alabama Fans to Hate the Clemson Tigers
The College Football Championship game pits Crimson against Clemson; I'm getting y'all ready for the big game with a little trash talk. Here are 10-ish reasons why Bama fans should hate on Clemson.
Let me preface my trash talk with this: I respect the Clemson Tigers. They've had an incredible season. Their team is comprised of some insanely talented players; Dabo is an awesome coach, and they had a pizza party for 300,000 fans after winning the ACC Championship game, which is adorable. But this is Clemson Hate Week, and it is my civic duty to engage in some trash talk. Let's do this.
1. THEIR SCHOOL COLORS ARE BASICALLY A HATE CRIME
Orange is abysmal. It makes me want to scratch out my eyeballs. Clemson Orange is almost like that... throw up orange. It's terrible. Add purple to the mix and, well, look. I should note that the school officially lists its colors as "Clemson Orange and Regalia" which is unjustifiably pretentious for an ag school.
2. THEY ARE BASICALLY THE AUBURN OF SOUTH CAROLINA
I have nothing against cow colleges, people. But a spade is a spade.
3. THEY HAVE REALLY STUPID TRADITIONS
According to Wikipedia, Clemson fans like to spend $2 bills in the cities they visit when the team plays away games. They stamp tiger paws on the $2 bills so that people will know what a profound impact Clemson and its fans had on the local economy. Sounds cool until you realize that Wal-Mart and the liquor store are the only place that end up with an influx of dead currency.
4. THEY HAVE A PET ROCK
Clemson's stadium is nicknamed "Death Valley" (it sits below a cemetery which used to be visible before the stadium was expanded) so players touch a rock brought back from Death Valley, California before they take the field. I am not even joking right now. It's called Howard's Rock. It's crazy--see for yourself. These jokers straight up have a pet rock which they rub and kiss for good luck.
5. THEY HAVE BASICALLY THE CRAZIEST FIELD ENTRANCE EVER
Brent Musburger called Clemson's entrance the "most exciting 25 seconds in all of college football," but I'm guessing he said that BEFORE he lost his mind when he saw Katherine Webb during Bama's epic defeat of Notre Dame. It's exciting. I can't even lowkey hate on that--but doesn't it seem a little... capricious to have your players and staff hop and slide down a steep hill before a game? (Skip to about the 32 second mark in the video below and see what I mean.)
6. DABO SWINNEY MAKES DAD JOKES
Dabo recently made some cringe-worthy jokes about Alabama--the worst of which was something like "Alabama is the smartest state--three A's and one B."
7. THEIR SCHOOL MASCOT IS A TIGER
8. THAT TIGER DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A NAME
I mean, seriously? Auburn's tiger is Aubie; LSU has Mike, and Clemson has... a tiger. They can't even give their mascot a name, people.
9. DESHAUN WATSON
I have nothing to say here that's negative, and I'm only including him on this list because we should all be jealous. Dude. Just. Dude.
10. THEY ARE ALL THAT STANDS BETWEEN ALABAMA AND NATTY #16.
I don't have to pontificate on the importance of this game. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Clemson's a great team--but Alabama is better. Roll Tide, y'all.